First, you will come to our wonderful and spacious barracks somewhere in America!

Next you will be put in line for training amongst the best new recruits the continent has to offer!

You will learn the fine art of foraging for food and supplies!*

In spite of rumors, propoganda, misinformation, sedition, obfuscation, and lies you may have heard, Hessian Soldiers do NOT eat babies!

We only cook the babies.

The British officers....they eat the babies.

Its true!

Anyway.... You'll also learn to work hand in hand with the Jaeger korps, the scouts and eyes of the Hessian army.

Rumors concerning the recent decline in Jaeger quality are not to be believed or repeated under penalty of running the gauntlet!

When you are ready to be a soldier, Joe will draw a line in the sand and dare you to cross!

Its not much of a test, but we're on a budget here...

Then you will get training in your new military assignment!

Then some guy named Todd will try to sell you a new musket!

After all of this you will be invigorated by your training and ready for action!

So go out and get those rebels like a good Hessian Soldier!

Get me out of this nonsense right now!

Disclaimer: No babies were harmed in the making of the von Donop promotional pages. Yes, we know the baby was crying the picture. Babies cry. The reason he was crying is because everyone was looking at him and laughing at him. We asked his dad if Hessian Bob & Hessian Bill could put him in the sack. Dad said it was OK. Bob and Bill put the baby in the sack. We took pictures. Dad took pictures. They will be the coolest pictures in the family album. He'll thank us when he's older. Plus the kid got a nice shiney Thaler for his trouble. No, the kid won't swallow the Thaler. The Thaler is too big for that. Man, you're picky about this. Get over it. Send all hate mail to somebody else. Alright, send all the hate mail to me! See if I care.